How I Fought to be Part of This Blog

James here.

When John was forming this blog, he wanted to create a collaborative news bulletin with all the Imps reporting. However, early on in the brainstorming for creating this blog, he made an executive decision to not include me - you see, I've got kind of a sordid past with online postings...anyway, I found out about the blog through my mole in the Imps, and demanded to be part of the writing staff. John and I scheduled a meeting to talk about the issue, and the following exchange took place:

JOHN: Hey, look James, let's just be rational about this.
JAMES: Rational? You call making a secret blog behind my back rational?
JOHN: Yeah, kind of. It's not that I forgot about you...
JAMES: You just hate me. You hate me because my stock characters get more laughs than your stock characters during Trivial Prov-Suit.
JOHN: It's called TrivProv now.
JAMES: Oh, that's great. I hope you and your new partner are happy playing TrivProv together.
JOHN: You're the one who left! How can you be bitter about this?
JAMES: I'm not bitter. I just want to write on your blog.
JOHN: It's for the Imps, James...I don't know how to tell you this, but...you're not really an Imp anymore.
JAMES: WHAT? Not an Imp? What are you talking about? I'm impier than anyone you've got!
JOHN: You haven't played any shows besides TrivProv -
JAMES: You mean Trivial Prov-suit. TrivProv is what you and your new man do behind my back.
JOHN: Fine, whatever, it's the only show you've played in months. You're too busy doing your "regular theater" to be in improv shows at the Imp.
JAMES: Don't be hateful of regular theater. You used to do it too, you know.
JOHN: ...you...you don't have to tell me that...don't think it kills me inside every day that I don't do regular theater anymore...
JAMES: So that's what this is about? You're spiteful because I get to do plays still? You wish it was you memorizing lines and learning blocking?
JOHN: No...it's not what I want...I'm a changed person now.
JAMES: You can lie to me. You can't lie to yourself.
JOHN: If I let you write for my blog - IF I let you - you can't talk about real theater.
JAMES: Real theater? Was that a slip?
JOHN: I meant to say traditional theater.
JAMES: Uh-huh.
JOHN: And every post you make has to relate to the Roving Imp.
JAMES: Done.
JOHN: And you can't leave the city for Chicago.
JAMES: Sure, okay.
JOHN: And once you're done with your plays, you have to appear in three Imp Shows a week.
JAMES: Fine.
JOHN: Are you lying to me just so I'll let you write on my blog?
JAMES: No.
JOHN: All right then. I'll register you on the blog.
JAMES: YES! YES! Thank you! You will not regret this. I will write the most brilliant insightful -
JOHN: Just get out of my sight.
JAMES: Okay, yeah. Take care, John, I'll see you later.
JOHN: One second - if anybody asks, it was my idea to add you to the blog. Don't you tell anybody - not even Nifer - that we had this conversation.
JAMES: I would never.
JOHN: Get out of here.

It was a long hard battle, but I fought for you, Kansas City. You deserve to have my voice in the flowing river of passion that is improv - and since I'm not long for this town, soon this blog will be the only thing you have to remember me by.

And John? I was crossing my fingers when I said that stuff.